It’s 3AM where I am now. I’ve been jobless for a good 4 months and have ran out of savings.

I was looking at my phone and realised that no one asks me if I’m doing alright. Both of my parents have passed away and I don’t have good relationships with my aiblings due to family issues and age gaps. They both are aware of my conditions but not once they asked me if I need help. I’ve reached out to them before to help with financial situations but have been totally ignored by them though they are in good financial situations.

I don’t have any close friends either. If I have a bad day, sleep. If I have a good day, sleep. Bored, sleep. Not well, sleep. Weekend, sleep or read.

Not sure how long I could deal with this life. I’ve been taking meds and go to therapy but I don’t feel like it has completely make my urge to unlive ny go.

I used to feel that I have so much love to give but not anymore.