somebody on r/cybersecurity hit 765 upvotes asking if anyone else was losing their mind over the "ai cybersecurity" hype. yes. the answer is yes. every practitioner i talk to is having the same conversation, and it's worth saying out loud what's happening so we can stop pretending the emperor is dressed. the pitch goes like this. vendor X has an "ai-powered" platform. it triages alerts, reduces analyst workload by 90 percent, autonomously investigates threats, contains incidents, and makes the soc analyst job a quaint historical footnote. the deck is gorgeous. the demo is smooth. the price is six figures and growing. then you deploy it. what actually shows up in production a recent practitioner write-up tested an llm-based triage tool against 348 known false positives and one synthetic true positive. the tool got 71 percent accuracy. it called obvious false positives malicious. it missed the planted incident entirely. that's the part nobody puts on the slide.…