How I removed a legacy behavior that optimized for likability—and paid for it with self-respect. Context I recently ran an audit on a behavioral pattern I had been running for years: If (someone needs something) → respond immediately → say yes → be helpful I thought this was a virtue. In practice, it behaved like an anti-pattern: It scaled poorly It created hidden costs It trained other people’s expectations in the wrong direction So I treated it like deprecated code and started a refactor. The Bug: Over-Availability as a Default State The core issue wasn’t kindness. It was this assumption: My value = my availability That assumption created predictable side effects: No rate limiting on my time or energy No validation of incoming requests No distinction between urgent vs. convenient Everything got processed. Even when it shouldn’t have. The Hidden Cost Model Availability Tax Every time I defaulted to “yes,” I paid in: focus energy time I didn’t get back The return? Sometimes gratitude.…