I have a Master's in Computer Science. I have built production apps that real humans use with their real human hands. I have written documentation. I have left thoughtful, multi-paragraph code review comments explaining time complexity to junior developers. I once spent 45 minutes choosing the right variable name. And yet - if you run git log on any of my repos - any of them - you will find, buried somewhere around week three, a commit message that simply says: ok Enter fullscreen mode Exit fullscreen mode Not "fix: resolve null pointer exception in auth middleware." Not even "bug fix." Just... ok. Like I was responding to a text message from my codebase and could not be bothered to say more. I am not ashamed. Well. I am a little ashamed. But I know I am not alone. Every developer's git log is a crime scene. And like every good crime scene, it tells a story - the story of a person slowly losing their mind, one push at a time. Let the investigation begin. Stage 1 - No Prior Offences Day one. Fresh repo.…