Before getting to the number in the title, I need to start somewhere else. Nightlife is dead. I've been noticing for a while. I'm 30. A decade ago, I went to a state school in the northeast. The place had a specific rhythm. Whenever the weather hit 60 degrees, basically the entire campus would gather, get wildly drunk, and do crazy shit. People burned couches. They climbed telephone poles. They evaded cops. They bar-hopped, they got pizza at 2am, they did things that would never have made it onto a brochure but were the actual culture of the place. I spent an enormous amount of time in disgusting basements in houses that probably weren't legally inhabitable, and in bars packed like sardines. I didn't directly partake in the most severe delinquencies. But passive observation was free, and it was great. Anything could happen next. "Yo, they're burning a couch" is an actual pickup line. This is how you met people. Particularly, this is how you met women. Or at least, it was the easiest way to.…