So I don’t know since when, I don’t know why but now I just don’t want to do anything anymore. Im sick and tired of school, playing games doesn’t have the same fulfilling enjoyment anymore, I have lots of friends who are only on a surface socializing level. Barely a handful actual good friends but they all don’t seem to understand and sympathise or going through their own mess and I can’t bother them. I don’t even like myself, I just tolerate what I am and that is it. Im just so numb of everything and want everything to end, Im still oh so young and my family is still here so there are responsibilities I have to because I can’t be selfish and end it all. I am here asking how do I feel less numb, how can I live each day not torturing myself by just going through their motions, how do I love myself.