(Image credit: Getty Images) There is a time when "tough love" isn't appropriate. And when a spouse, family member or friend is dealing with the consequences of bladder cancer, that is certainly not what is called for. While space limits any in-depth description, bladder cancer can go from something that is easily treated, to requiring removal of the bladder ( cystectomy ). Urine is then emptied in several ways, one of which is an ileal conduit ( urostomy ) diverting it to an external pouch the patient wears and empties several times a day. That is the basis of today's story. "Mr. Beaver, I am a member of a bladder cancer support group — all older, former military, as are many of our wives. Your recent articles on putting off estate planning are so relevant to people like us who suddenly face a world turned upside down, where a power of attorney for health care , and so many of the topics in your columns, are instantly important.…