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After Our Newborn Suddenly Died, I Spiraled. Marathon Training Mirrored My Grief and Brought Me Back.

#runnersworld#running#marathon#wasn#crew#year
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I think of running as a supportive best friend who has helped me through so much and is always there for me. But I also argue with it and sometimes get mad or frustrated and need a break. When it gets really hard, I think about Crew, my son who passed away, looking down on me and being proud. That keeps me going. In the end, as complicated as it can be, my relationship with running has given me a lot. That’s what a best friend does, I suppose. That’s what love is. I can’t say that running is something that came to me naturally. As a heavier kid, I was terrified of the mile trial at school, where other kids would run while I walked in the back of the pack, hearing, “You’re chubby, you can’t run.” It was a source of anxiety more than anything. But when I moved to New York City after undergrad and was looking for a sport to join with the smallest barrier to entry, running came back up. I decided to give it another shot and signed up for the 2014 New York City Half Marathon.…

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