Spoiler: It's not the Wild West people imagine, but you still need to know what you're doing. The Moment I Decided to Try It I was on a train heading to visit family, bored out of my mind, when I realized I had a decent chunk of ETH sitting in my wallet. A few taps later, I was staring at a Telegram chat showing me two hole cards. No ID upload. No address verification. Just me, my phone, and a bot that treated me like a wallet address instead of a person. That first hand? I folded a 7-2 offsuit. But I was hooked on the idea. The Real User Experience (Not the Marketing Version) Let me paint you a picture of how these bots actually feel to use: Deposit flow: You type /start or similar command Bot sends you a fresh deposit address (usually per-user) You send crypto from your wallet Wait 1-3 blockchain confirmations (varies by bot) Balance appears Playing a hand: Bot sends: "You're in the big blind.…