When does it gets better (as in life)?? I wake up at like 2pm and then I think of what to do. and try to do Smthn, fail miserably and then go to gym and run ( that's actually only been 3 days and I'm fucking up the habit already) and then I try to do Smthn AND BAM it's 1 am it makes me fucking Susidal , I am thinking of doing engeneering and i don't even know even if I would be able to do shit And also i fucking forgot that I have to eat meds cuz i wakes up at 2 am I'm more impulsive then ever and more angry then ever The most free then ever yet the most controlled and the most wierdly sanctioned by myself then ever Ngl every 2 am i think of ending it cuz I'm soo tired of this and I cant do engeneering idk what I even can And it's not even like i like to be free I HATE IT And yet when I do have work I DONT TILL IT TOO LATE IR ITS NIGHTIME WHICH I CAN'T EVEN SLEEP JUST CAUSE ???…