I can't stop comparing myself to my ex and feeling like I'm not enough. I do things to improve myself or because I genuinely think I want to (travelling, trying new things...), but I always end up questioning myself: am I actually doing this because she used to do it?

Even when I do the same things, I feel like I'm falling behind — like she'll always be one step ahead of me. I know it's not a race and I shouldn't be comparing myself to her (even her own friends have told me she takes everything to the extreme and is obsessive and hyper-competitive), but I still do it without even realizing.

It's really hard to rebuild my confidence and truly believe that she was the one who messed up, that she was the one who lost me — which is what everyone around us says. But no matter how I look at it, my brain always puts her ahead.