The Mental Health Project is a Seattle Times initiative focused on covering mental and behavioral health issues. It is funded by Ballmer Group, a national organization focused on economic mobility for children and families. The Seattle Times maintains editorial control over work produced by this team. Editor’s note: This article focuses on suicide, self-harm and other topics related to psychiatric distress. If you or a loved one is in crisis, call 988. Additional resources are available here . The first time a loved one told me they didn’t want to be alive anymore, I was 12. I remember the fear freezing my body, the desperate wish that I could reach inside their world and show them they are not alone. I remember the helplessness of watching someone I love lose hope, realizing only later how long they had been living in silent pain. That moment never really left me.…