In her book Wonder Women: Sex, Power, and the Quest for Perfection , Barnard College president Debora Spar argues that women have come very far in the struggle for power but now face the tyranny of hyper-perfect images of working mothers and romantic notions of “having it all.” Recently, Spar spoke with Knowledge at Wharton about the unlikely moment when she realized she had it all, why we need to speak more openly about the tradeoffs of being in a position of prominence and why it’s time to stop telling women, “I don’t know how you do it all.” An edited transcript of the conversation follows. Knowledge at Wharton : We’re here today with Debora Spar, president of Barnard College and author of the book, Wonder Women: Sex, Power, and the Quest for Perfection. Debora, you draw a lot on your own experience in your new book. In the opening section, you describe the moment when you realized that you were “having it all.” Can you describe that and some of the realizations that stemmed from it?…