Asking someone to write a letter of recommendation is universally awkward. It feels like you are asking for a massive favor, begging for compliments, and imposing on their busy schedule all at the same time. But whether you are applying for grad school, a new job, or a competitive fellowship, strong references are non-negotiable. The secret to getting a glowing letter of recommendation is simple: Make it as easy as possible for them to say yes. Here is exactly how to ask for a reference without the anxiety. 1. Choose the Right Person Do not just ask the person with the highest title. A generic letter from the CEO is worth far less than a highly specific, passionate letter from your direct manager. Ask someone who: Directly supervised your work for at least six months. Can speak to specific projects or accomplishments. Actually likes you. (If they hesitate when you ask, move on to someone else). 2. Give Them an "Out" When you ask for the recommendation, always give them a polite way to decline.…