Susumu Yoshioka/Getty Images This post originally appeared in the Business Insider Today newsletter. You can sign up for Business Insider's daily newsletter here . The great wealth transfer is taking place, but it's not landing in the pockets of the supposed heirs. Costly long-term elder care is putting a major dent in the trillions of dollars in wealth held by boomers that's been earmarked for their Gen X and millennial children . Zach Hefferen wrote about the high costs of caring for his father, who struggled with dementia for over a decade. The memory care unit that his father ended up in cost $17,000 a month , nearly wiping out his father's entire life savings in the 16 months before his death. As heartbreaking as Zach and his dad's story is, it's not necessarily unique. Boomers and their children are facing the staggering healthcare costs that come with aging. (If you're going through this now, we want to hear from you .) It's also an incredibly uncomfortable conversation to have.…