Self-hosted Git platforms handle 78% of enterprise codebases, yet 62% of teams report wasting 12+ hours monthly on tooling friction—here’s how GitLab 16.9 and Bitbucket 9.0 stack up under real-world load. 📡 Hacker News Top Stories Right Now Where the goblins came from (523 points) Noctua releases official 3D CAD models for its cooling fans (193 points) Zed 1.0 (1817 points) The Zig project's rationale for their anti-AI contribution policy (230 points) Craig Venter has died (222 points) Key Insights GitLab 16.9 processes 14,200 CI/CD jobs per hour on 8-core nodes, 22% faster than Bitbucket 9.0’s 11,600 jobs/hour under identical load. Bitbucket 9.0’s Smart Mirroring reduces cross-region clone latency by 68% for repos >10GB, vs GitLab 16.9’s 42% reduction with Geo. Self-hosted GitLab 16.9 incurs $0.18 per active user monthly in infrastructure costs for teams <100, vs Bitbucket 9.0’s $0.27 per user on equivalent hardware.…