11:20 am Wed May 13, 2026 Celebrity Magazine January 1956 "Life has gotten too darned complicated," declared Russell E. Oakes in the January 1956 issue of Celebrity magazine. "Our scientists and inventors are just great at investigating the sex life of the polyp or building bigger and better positronic re-diffraction hypotelemeters — but they ignore the all-important everyday problems of the ordinary guy like you and me." Oakes was an advertising executive from Waukesha, Wisconsin who spent his off-hours building elaborate contraptions for daily irritations. His doughnut-dunking machine keeps your fingers dry, with a pan strapped to your forearm to catch coffee drippings. A "metal spider" rig sits over the butter dish, so your sleeve never dips into the goo when you reach for the salt. A bashful bellhop's tip collector pops up a NO SALE sign when the gratuity falls short. His "improved" bowling ball — guaranteed to strike every frame — comes with its own mechanical arms.…