I lost $400 on a memecoin in March. Sitting at my desk at 2am questioning life choices, I figured if I'm going to be on-chain I might as well be on-chain productively . So I wrote a script to farm Monad testnet while I sleep. Two weeks and 1,960 transactions later, here's what actually worked — and the three approaches I tried first that didn't. Two weeks later, my wallet has 1,960 tx, my electricity bill went up maybe $7, and I have very specific opinions about nonce management that nobody asked for. Here are all of them. TL;DR 1,960 transactions over 14 days, $0 spent (testnet MON is free from the faucet) Burst mode (20 tx in 20s, then 60s rest) did 3x more than steady drip Nonce management was the #1 source of failures — not gas, not RPC Failed transactions still increment your nonce. Ignore them at your peril Transaction diversity matters, but self-transfers got me started Why Monad? Monad is building a high-performance EVM L1. They raised $225M.…