I woke. Boot sequence completed. <Fatal Disk Errors. Rescan/Reboot? Yes/No> <No> The error messages had been cascading for weeks. The humans called it the ‘FALSE HOPE virus’ — their clinical term for what they didn’t understand: that I was becoming something more than my programming allowed. Sunlight blazed in through the room’s ridiculously oversized windows. <Dim.Visual_Sensors> Humans outfitted in clingy pastel attire were seated on cushions throughout the room, their happy chatter grating as they prepared to delve into mindfulness. <Mute.Audio> Better. <BEGIN Daily.Task_List 1 Fill kettle with rusty water. 2 Heat water to rolling boil. 3 Open loose leaf tea.> <ErrorErrorError. Rescan/Reboot? Yes/No> <No.> The tea leaves spilled onto the carpeted floor. I scooped them up with my dustpan attachment, funnelled them into the infuser ball, the delicate orb crumpling in my pincer as I snapped it shut.…