Ask A.J. Something needs to change. Photo illustration by Slate. Photos by Maksim Luzgin/iStock/Getty Images Plus and Yurchello108/iStock/Getty Images Plus.  Ask A.J. is Slate’s advice column on addiction, recovery, and how to hate yourself less.   Submit a question here .  It’s anonymous! Dear A.J.,  One of my childhood best friends, who’s now in his mid-30s, has been an alcoholic for maybe 10 to 15 years now. I’m not actually sure how long. We live in different cities, across the country from each other. This friend deals with a host of overlapping problems: bad sleep apnea, anxiety, paranoia, and, along with his alcohol dependence, he appears to need regular doses of kratom to function. Due to all these factors, he doesn’t have a job and lives at home with his parents. I’ve read a little (but not much) about how to support a friend in this type of situation, so I know to avoid shaming or scolding him.…