When a 45-second video of reality star Taylor Frankie Paul hurling metal barstools at her ex-boyfriend during a 2023 altercation surfaced just days before her season of “The Bachelorette” was set to premier on ABC, the fallout was swift. ABC said it wouldn’t air the show. Some cast members from both “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” — in which Paul stars — and the “Bachelor” universe distanced themselves. Several content creators who focus on pop culture analysis condemned the display of domestic violence. But Paul also had a slew of vocal defenders who rushed to social media to label the incident “reactive abuse,” a term used to describe when an abuse victim is pushed to respond in an aggressive manner. It’s a topic that often becomes an online flashpoint among advocates, experts and commentators after high-profile domestic violence cases make headlines.…