My grandfather, who I have always called Pa, is dying. He grew up working class in the north of England and went on to have a spectacular career, life and family. Many of my friends have inherited tens of thousands of dollars when their grandparents have passed, often tied up in big suburban houses. This is part of the new phenomenon of intergenerational wealth. Rather than the “bank of mum and dad”, the “bank of grandma and grandpa” is how many young couples are now getting into housing . But many of the same friends seldom saw their grandparents or felt they couldn’t fully be themselves in front of them. And the spectacle of inheritance feels meaningless alongside real connection. Instead of being far away in a separate house, Pa has always lived closely with family, part of the everyday fabric of our lives across generations. There’s a kind of conspiratorial bond that can arise in grandparents and grandchildren who are close. A naughtiness that is difficult to share with a responsible parent.…