HYDRAULIC HERESY It was not a tomb. It was a structure that happened to look like belief. Press enter or click to view image in full size Original Giza complex blueprints. Forget the tombs — look at those drainage channels. (Generated with Google Gemini ) The pyramids were not tombs. They were the world’s most expensive plumbing mistake. This is not a conspiracy theory. It’s just physics being rude again. I lose exactly 0.85 units of professional dignity by writing this. It is a calculated loss. I am not here to resurrect conspiracy theories. I am here to annoy archaeologists with hydrology. Repeating an explanation because it feels old and emotionally convenient is unacceptable. The Giza pyramids were not built for the dead. They were built for the plumbing. This is a structural statement, not a poetic one. Walking the western edge of the Nile floodplain reveals an irritation. The pyramids sit in unexpected places. They do not occupy dramatic peaks or dominate routes of procession. They wait. They line up.…