I have anxiety as soon as I remember. The spiral downfall is not pretty, actually made me do horrible things. The circle of life, rather, the circle of addiction is the way I deal with anxiety. I hate myself, I hate the feeling I am, and most of all the guilt I carry. It's an addictive cycle, one day you are having a blast, the other you hate the feeling of being alive. I am not a suicidal person, never will be because I am afraid of my life being over. But I truly do not like to feel "alive" per say where my brain beats me every fucking time