A bottle of Chardonnay was recovered from inside a woman’s body cavity at a Michigan jail. That’s where we’re starting. This is a real news story, people.  Per local outlet Up North Live , the 48-year-old Traverse City woman had allegedly walked into a liquor store the day before, grabbed a bottle of Chardonnay, and walked out past employees who searched her and found nothing. Because the wine wasn’t in her bag. It wasn’t in her coat. It was in her. Tucked away somewhere that a liquor store employee is neither trained nor paid to check. Videos by VICE Police arrested her, and a cavity search at the jail found the Chardonnay. She was then transported to Munson Medical Center. Retail fraud cases don’t usually require a hospital. This one did. This wasn’t even her first visit. The day before, she’d allegedly walked into the same store, drank a bottle of alcohol off the shelf at 9 a.m. without paying, and got caught.…