I know patriarchy is an impactful reality, but I’ve always had trouble deciphering its effects in my own life. I’m generally introverted, keep to myself, and may considered less conventionally “feminine” than average. Because of my introversion, I’ve dealt with many men in my life mainly on an individual basis. My instinct has always been to psychologize their unusual tendencies, rather than to attribute it to broader ideology. For example when I was in a small work unit with 2 other men, they both demonstrated some traits associated with toxic masculinity: self-absorbed, loud, ambitious, and reactive. In the case of my working-level colleague, he seemed to adopt these qualities as a defense mechanism against a traumatic childhood upbringing. He was abandoned by his father early on, and resented that the latter was a “spineless coward”. Being self-absorbed and loud would allow him to be seen and heard after traumatizing neglect.…