Am I in fact a crybaby? Contemplating on why I can't commit suicide. Lately I've felt to be in my worst days in some time, I walk not only phisically burdened by my sendentary life stlye, but also by the near future and worries. My body is completely grotesque, so much so that I have for a long time avoided taking too deep of a thought on it, but what's interesting is that I can very much tell this corpse is on the way to death. I've been getting sick more easily lately, I feel the weight of my whole body over my feet, I've also been told by my own mother of my state, somethinf along the lines of "you look like an old person". A sudden change is about to happen in my life, very soon. It is not actually sudden, but i've been pretending it will be for about some months. Attached to things, I became overly sensitive about change; a chair or a book in the wrong place, my untidied bed... I do not really care if they are tidy, just if they are the same as they were.…